Weight has always been a massive issue for me. This doesn’t mean I’m too ‘skinny’ or too ‘big’ but it means I am not entirely comfortable with the figures that have remained at tip of my feet for years even.
Ever since I was little I always had a small figure not ‘boney’ but fairly under weight. This had always confused me as I am naturally muscular meaning throughout my life I have just been gaining more muscle without lifting or attending the gym. I get asked “what gym do you go to?” And I respond “gym isn’t in my dictionary!” But I have never been able to gain weight. I have gained more muscle but have not gained weight.
Throughout my teenage years from the age of 14 up to the age I currently am (16), I have found it terribly hard to gain weight. I have tried and tried. I have bought protein shakes, ate nuts and avocados every morning, I eat at midnight purposely to gain weight, my bag constantly contains foods of high calories and I have sat in the same spot for a few days at a time looking to gain weight rather lose weight. I consume a huge amount of calories a day but I have seen no difference. I have a healthy diet which consists of a balance of fats, carbs, fibres, protein and sugars. However I still am not able to gain weight. I have even considered taking contraceptive pills to encourage weight gain. But I do not agree with pills therefore this is not an option for me.
This urge to gain weight is not because I am pressured into it or because I want ‘curves’. I have chosen to gain weight because I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and if that means to gain weight then I shall do so. But I am always questioned, “why do you want to gain weight?” – Because I want to show people you can be happy with extra weight and you are still beautiful with extra weight. I don’t want to obey with society I want to do what makes me feel good. I don’t want to be that girl that every male/female wants. I want to be me. I want to be confident in my own skin. And most importantly I want other women/men to feel beautiful, big or small.
My advice for you is: eat all you want! Lose all you want! As long as you’re healthy and happy you are not negatively impacting others!
You’re beautiful no matter the size. This goes to women and men as I understand the struggle males go through in our society. Eat, be happy, get tattoos, drink, smile, spread love. Our society expects us all to look like barbie and ken. Why do we have to conform.