Importance of bullying 

Even at the age of 15 you can get bullied by your peers. My hand shook as I lifted my phone from my desk. The vibration caught my attention and at that very moment my hands were locked onto the hard shell case. We were inseparable for a moment. I could feel a burning sensation moves from my stomach upwards as my eyes caught the words “ugly”, “dumb”, “gay” and “desperate”. 

From that moment my whole life changed. I began to wear make up. I started to follow the crowd and laugh at the jokes I wouldn’t normally laugh at. I even set my screen saver on my mobile phone to a provocative image of an unknown male model. All that just to convince and hide the fact I was lesbian.

In the space of 2 years I went through multiple phases all because I was labelled “gay” and “desperate”. But after you go through these phases you realise you will always be you. No matter what people say. No one can change the fact you are bisexual or gay or trans. Forcing your son to wear blue will not make him straight. Buying your daughter a baby doll does not make her want babies and does not change her wants and needs in future life. 

We are all given a plan. As I mentioned in a previous post. Our lives have lived and have been practised. We are set to be someone and no one can change us. Gay people are not “mentally ill” they are humans with a different desire to you. That does not make them a different human all together. Everyone is different. You choose who you want to be and what you want people to think of you. 

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My view on weight

Weight has always been a massive issue for me. This doesn’t mean I’m too ‘skinny’ or too ‘big’ but it means I am not entirely comfortable with the figures that have remained at tip of my feet for years even.

Ever since I was little I always had a small figure not ‘boney’ but fairly under weight. This had always confused me as I am naturally muscular meaning throughout my life I have just been gaining more muscle without lifting or attending the gym. I get asked “what gym do you go to?” And I respond “gym isn’t in my dictionary!” But I have never been able to gain weight. I have gained more muscle but have not gained weight.

Throughout my teenage years from the age of 14 up to the age I currently am (16), I have found it terribly hard to gain weight. I have tried and tried. I have bought protein shakes, ate nuts and avocados every morning, I eat at midnight purposely to gain weight, my bag constantly contains foods of high calories and I have sat in the same spot for a few days at a time looking to gain weight rather lose weight.  I consume a huge amount of calories a day but I have seen no difference. I have a healthy diet which consists of a balance of fats, carbs, fibres, protein and sugars. However I still am not able to gain weight. I have even considered taking contraceptive pills to encourage weight gain. But I do not agree with pills therefore this is not an option for me.

This urge to gain weight is not because I am pressured into it or because I want ‘curves’. I have chosen to gain weight because I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and if that means to gain weight then I shall do so. But I am always questioned, “why do you want to gain weight?” – Because I want to show people you can be happy with extra weight and you are still beautiful with extra weight. I don’t want to obey with society I want to do what makes me feel good. I don’t want to be that girl that every male/female wants. I want to be me. I want to be confident in my own skin. And most importantly I want other women/men to feel beautiful, big or small.

My advice for you is: eat all you want! Lose all you want! As long as you’re healthy and happy you are not negatively impacting others!

You’re beautiful no matter the size. This goes to women and men as I understand the struggle males go through in our society. Eat, be happy, get tattoos, drink, smile, spread love. Our society expects us all to look like barbie and ken. Why do we have to conform.

Opening to my blog

The purpose of life is to reproduce? Spread love? Showcase your inventions? You choose your purpose. What do you want your life to be about? I don’t know why I was created. Maybe I was an experiment. I don’t know. But my aim in life is to watch people grow, learn off them and then grow myself.

We are all surrounded by gods plans, we are also a part of gods plan. This doesn’t mean we should follow it. We are the roots of this world which means the world stems from us. There are rose plants with thorns that sit and look appealingly criminalising but beautiful. There are also rose plants so delicate and dainty but intoxicating. Sometimes there is no in between. Thats when you question yourself. This world is either too sweet or too sour. You choose whether you want to be categorised. I certainly don’t.

Our aims in life impact those around us and by you reading this it has an impact on you. I hope you stay with me along this journey. Full of adventures and bitter times.

I will be sharing with you my thoughts of society, reviews on skin care, my thoughts on feminism and most importantly events I believe deserve more recognition. Of course other topics will be of mention these are just a few at the top of my head. If you wish for me to post something of your interest, maybe a review or my views on a certain subject. You could even give me a research task and I wish to fill your request. Comment down below.

I wish to use this blog as a place I can use to escape. Escape from this bad world and all the negatives that surround us in life. I hope you can also read my blog and escape with me.

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